Essay Compassion

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With yang self-compassion, the three components show up as fierce, empowered truth. We no longer choose to avoid seeing or telling in order not to rock the boat. When we hold our pain with fierce-empowered-truth we can speak up and tell our stories, to protect ourselves and others from being harmed.

It is challenging to hold loving, connected presence together with fierce, empowered truth because their energies feel so different.

Mindfulness allows us to be with and validate our pain in an open, accepting manner.

When we hold our pain with loving, connected presence, we start to transform and heal. You cannot harm me in this way.” Common humanity helps us to recognize that we are not alone. We can stand together with our brothers and sisters in the experience of being harmed and become empowered as a result. And mindfulness manifests as clearly seeing the truth.

How many of us have remained silent because we didn’t want to rock the boat or risk being judged for putting ourselves in a compromising position?

Largely as a concession to the #Me Too movement, the predominantly male Senate judiciary committee and Judge Kavanaugh himself (at least at first) did not try to discredit Dr.What really struck me, however, was the demeanor of Dr. While she spoke with confidence when discussing her area of expertise — the psychology of trauma — at other times she spoke like a young girl who needed to placate all these powerful men so they would like her.This doesn’t undercut the courage she showed for being there — it was tremendous — but she clearly felt she had to be soft and sweet to be heard. Imagine if she had shown her righteous anger at Kavanaugh for derailing her life, she indeed would have been discredited.While it is crucial that we take action to change the political system, the first place to start is with ourselves.The next time we are at the grocery store with a rude check-out person, or in a conflict at work, or confronted with a difficult life challenge, we need to turn inward and call up both yin and yang self-compassion in a balanced manner. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, and a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research and training. But we need to do so if we are going to effectively stand up to patriarchy, to racism, and the people in power that are destroying our planet.We need both simultaneously, as advocated by great leaders such as Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa, or Martin Luther King, Jr.We need love in our hearts so we don’t perpetuate a cycle of anger and hate, but we need fierceness so that we don’t let things continue on their current harmful path.I am deeply saddened by the success of attempts to paint Dr.This Email Newsletter Privacy Statement may change from time to time and was last revised 5 June, 2018.The drama that just unfolded in the Senate confirmation hearings for the U. Supreme Court is just one more example of why women need fierce compassion.


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